My post to my Congressman in regards to the piracy bill

And here it is:

As an American it is my legal right to freedom of speech, and expression. This law takes away from my fundamental rights as well as those of any other American, including yourself. I would personally never endorse a member of Congress who would even consider backing this bill. I don't know anyone else who would either. It is wrong; it is unjust.  

Instead of diminishing our rights as citizens of this fine nation, please work with your colleagues protect us and our domestic freedoms. We depend on you to do the right thing.  

The second the Internet is censored is the second we become a nation with conditional freedoms. That is not what the founders of our nation would've wanted, and that's not what any of your constituents would want either. Please think of us, we who depend upon your representation of our interests, in regards to this matter. 

And then it was signed, and yada, yada, yada. There are petitions and other things. This is how I sent my little letter. And it also gives better info than what I just did.

Facebook "rape pages": beyond tasteless jokes

One current event issue that hasn't been getting a lot of press in America, even though it involves Americans, is the Facebook "rape" pages. What do I mean by Facebook "rape" pages?

Personally, I would like to link you -- just so you can see with your own eyes -- but Blogger actually has a TOS thing about even linking to hate pages. And that's exactly what the "rape" pages on Facebook are. So, instead of linking you, if you haven't seen them, I want you to Google the phrase. You owe it to your sisters, girlfriends, wives, and mothers -- and most especially YOURSELF, if you are a woman -- to know what this page is, because only then you will see that it's not just a joke.

Because that's the thing. When I first read about this issue, it was a link someone posted on Twitter through a feminist website. So, I didn't take it seriously. I'm not what you would call a "feminist". I shave, bathe, and I like it when men open the door for me. Because the thing is: I'm a Carrieist. I think I'm better than everyone else. And as for other women -- I don't think they're equal to men: I think they're better than men. I mean, we birth them, change their diapers, cook for them, do their laundry and -- all the while -- most of us work full time jobs just like they do (only for less pay). So, not only can we do whatever men do, we can do more. And when we do what they do, we usually do it better.

So yeah. While women are better than men, I am better than all humans. Obey me. And obey me when I say men would be nothing without women and should worship the ground women walk on.

But the people from the Facebook page: "You know shes playing hard to get when your chasing her down an alleyway" don't think so. In fact, they think women deserve less respect than inanimate objects. I mean, after all, they don't rape people's cars or chairs, do they? But it's okay to rape women, according to them.

But who is "them"? According to this article from The Telegraph, the author of the rape page is, apparently, a British schoolboy with ties to British, Australian, and American hackers. People offering support to this page and pages like it are called in this article and others "cyber anarchists". But that's wrong. See, calling them "cyber anarchists" implies that they are exercising an anti-government philosophy and using these hateful pages to demonstrate that in a free society, they can say anything -- even this.

But no. No, no, no, no, no. Any true anarchist knows that anarchy means you don't want other people to rule you; the implication is that you, yourself, as a human being, have the innate moral compass to move about in society by doing no harm to others. That's what actual anarchists believe. All these "I'm gonna do whatever I want because I'm an anarchist" shitheads aren't getting it. They corrupt a non-violent philosophy and use it as a platform to do whatever they want -- and doing what they want isn't a good thing, judging by the rape content on these pages.

Another thing: the page I mentioned is rife with grammatical errors and if there's one thing I know, it's that the only thing that has worse grammar than a 13-year-old American schoolboy is a 13-year-old British boy. And that's what's scary. This screwed up little kid claims he's just joking. But the fact that he thinks this is a joke -- which I rather doubt -- is in itself not okay. And what's also not okay is the fact that this page is attracting real sexual predators. It's a fact. Real predators are visiting this page and it's become a meet up for them.

And what happens if you let people on the page know you disagree? Well, read the article by The Telegraph. Though, I find it very pathetic that while I blog and Tweet using my real name, this kid -- and many of his cohorts -- don't even do that. They are cowards. They have to hide behind the internet to say these things, because they're scared of what would happen to them, scared that people would hate them, if people knew who to blame. If you can't say something and put your name on it, you don't have a right to say it at all.

So, why does this page even exist? Simply put: Facebook loves getting the ad revenue off of it. It gets a lot of hits. That's why, even though this and pics of breastfeeding both violate their TOS, the pictures of breastfeeding gets taken off -- not because a partially exposed boob is more offensive and not because it's okay to publish hate stuff about women. Really, it's because Facebook is so freaking greedy that they will allow a page to violate their own TOS provided it brings in a shit ton of revenue. Because that's the thing folks: no one but a close circle of family and friends cares to see your breastfeeding pics, but people love to see something that's horrible whether they agree with how bad it is or not.

So, instead of saying "Facebook allows this because they hate women" we should be saying "Facebook allows pages that promote hate and violence to women as long as it makes them money". And that, my friends, is the real issue here.

And still, we all use Facebook because we can't be assed to go back to MySpace.

They're OUR Bitches: My View on Politics and Why it Should Be Yours Too

Democracy as defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

1.a : government by the people; especially : rule of the majority
b : a government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised by them directly or indirectly through a system of representation usually involving periodically held free elections

Could it be any clearer? Let me break it down into modern terms.

We hire politicians via voting. We pay them (far too much) via taxes. We are their bosses; they are our employees. But it's more than that. We hire them to represent our interests on a national level, because all of us doing it at once, in person, would be far too confusing. And since they are specifically hired to do our bidding, they are, in effect, our bitches.

But everyone seems to have forgotten that. Instead, when they vote somebody in, they think they're voting for an autocrat that rules them and makes their decisions for them. If you think a democratic government rules you, then you need to read the definition (several times if need be). Instead, the real point of a democracy is that we, the people, create an administrative body to represent us on a national scale. They do our grunt work to keep society flowing smoothly. Laws should be for the protection of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Any law that tells you what you can read, who you can talk to, or where you can go, what you can wear -- that's a dictatorial law of an autocratic fascist and you really shouldn't even listen to it, because it came into being by your bitch (aka politician) usurping the job you gave them for their own agenda.

Now, I don't mean to tell you what political party to believe in. That's not why I'm here. The reason I'm here is to educate you on how a democratic society works and to tell you -- whatever your political affiliation -- that in a free country, you are the boss.

It's time for us, as Americans, to take our country back. From this moment on, I challenge any and all politicians to go to work for me, for their people, and not themselves. And I challenge the American people to remember their place, to remember that you rule this country.

We live in the best country in the world. But it often doesn't seem that way. The reason is this: We forget why we're here, what our ancestors fought and died for. We forget that this was supposed to be better, we forget that we're supposed to be the best. Anyone not willing to stand up with me and adopt this philosophy is already beaten and you might as well just go ahead and lay in that hole in the ground, waiting for them to pile the dirt on you.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think my little blog post can effect overnight change. But I hope that this idea takes hold, that you share it with your friends, that they share it with theirs, and eventually Americans, on a massive scale, are reminded why we are here and of the power they posses.

So, be a human and pass this on. If you don't pass this on, I assume you like being the bitch of your bitch and I'll remember to buy you a blindfold, gag, and some fuzzy handcuffs for Christmas, because you're apparently going to need it.

That awkward moment when this was overdone

I chuckled the first couple of times when I heard "that awkward moment when" comments. Some of them were actually funny -- until it became a thing. Now that it's a thing, people think it's cool to come up with their own "that awkward moment when" phrases. But here's what happens when it becomes a thing: every moment gets awkward.

"That awkward moment when..." is the knock-knock joke of the 21st century. Yeah, it was funny...once. How to remedy the awkwardness of "that awkward moment"? You actually use your brain. The day wit, observation, and comedic timing die is the day my soul dies too. 

So, to put this to bed once and for all, here's one more...for the road: 

"That awkward moment when you read this." 

Reasons I won't date you

Don't think of it as me being a snobby bitch. Think about me, being harassed by weirdos that have done this crap. And also, if you're a guy, listen up, because this is just generally good dating advice.

Here be reasons:

1. You wear socks with sandals or sandals/flipflops at inappropriate times.

Unless you're an ancient Egyptian pharaoh, sandals are NOT appropriate evening attire. That's thing number one. Thing number two: socks with sandals is just WRONG. Anyone with a brain cell knows it. If you don't, then you're not anyone, and all of us who are ones will shun you. (Interpret that how you will.)

2. You get in my personal space when I don't even know you, haven't invited you there, and clearly have no intention in doing so.

I once knew this guy that would just edge closer and closer to me if we were somewhere out in public at the same time. He would just keep edging in until he would be a foot away or less -- right up in the middle of my personal space. And then -- and then -- he would talk to me. The way it made me feel was like he was bearing down on me in an odd and skeevy fashion. It was so off-putting. I would literally say "Dude, you best be backin' up." Did he invade my personal space next time? Yes, he did. He didn't learn. And I eventually started avoiding places he would be simply because the only other option would be to kick his ass and get charged with assault. Creepy dudes aren't worth being arrested over. And that, my friends, is maturity.

3. You've been in a serious relationship with my good friend -- even when she's definitely over you.

This explanation is multilayered. I've had friends that are all like, "Why don't you date my ex? I think y'all'd make a cute couple." Here's why.

Firstly, if you were with my friend, I know all of your faults. You're a naiviot (naive idiot) if you think I don't. Not only do I know all the faults she told me, but I know all the faults that she was too blind to see out of her love for you.The second reason: Any girl with self-esteem isn't going to let a penis that has been in her friend's vagina into her vagina. (But that's not to say dating in my world automatically equals sex -- I'm not that easy.) Lastly, the friend is never okay with you dating her ex deep down, even if she can't stand him or is normally above such clichéd behaviors. When it comes to amour, no one is above clichés.

4. You talk down to me.

One of the easiest ways to piss me off is to talk to me like I'm an idiot. Just ask my family. They treat me like an idiot all the time. But here's the difference between family and prospective dates: you can't choose family. And they actually love me, despite their attitudes.

But when a stranger treats you like shit, they don't love and they never will. So, yeah. If you tell me things like, "Go make me some muffins, darling. The men are talking," and then puff your cigar smoke in my face, I will probably (figuratively) kill you. I'm not going to lie. I will probably take my muffin tin and beat you upside the head until you cry. And then I'd laugh. And then I'd tell you to make the muffins yourself.

5. You talk down to others.

You ain't a man if you do that. At least not a real one, anyway. Seriously, some intelligent person actually had something to say about it:

"If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." - JK Rowling

A good rule of thumb is if Jo Rowling said it, it's probably right. At least, I hold stock in that.

Only a small man on the inside treats someone poorer than him, less brainy or shorter than him like they're less human than him. I was raised to treat hobos with the same respect I would show the Queen. I think everyone else should too.

6. You've never dated anyone before.

I'm simply too old to break you. I'm 23. I'm not 15. I can't be training boys to know how to be boyfriends at my age. They should already know that shit.

7. You caress me oddly during a normal conversation.

This has happened before. And it is so weird, I thought it deserved a whole separate talking point from the personal space issue. If I meet you and we're talking about something nonsensical like did Nero really own a fiddle, and then you caress me...like slide your hand up my arm, my thigh, or even -- yes, this has happened -- my boob, I will make you cry. Seriously. If I'm in a good mood and it's NOT one of my more intimate parts, you might get a warning -- might.

8. Poor hygiene.

This is supposed to never be a problem -- I mean, don't you guys have mothers? -- and it definitely should've been stomped out by middle school. But, alas, it is a problem. Guys can be really gross. And if I can smell you from a foot away, you're too gross for me. In fact, you shouldn't stink at all. I don't mind the smell of sweat and activity so much as just that gross, fucking nasty smell dudes get when they don't bathe enough. That's what really bothers me. And it bothers every other girl too. (Or at least it should. A lot of girls don't have good self-esteem, so they put up with it. But they shouldn't.)

9. You're a Republican.

I'm pretty open-minded. I don't care what religion you are. You don't even have to be religious or spiritual at all. But I cannot abide Republicans. The current ideals of the party are so crazy and heinous that Lincoln is simultaneously rolling over in his grave AND looking down from heaven and crying.

Yes, you assholes, you made Lincoln cry. Be ashamed.

To me, to even be a Republican, you have to either A) be a wicked moron, B) be uneducated, or C) let your parents think for you ala "Well, Daddy always voted Republican." Either way, you need to read some sort of book. Whether it's like an educational text book on the core beliefs of different parties or else a holy/spiritual/touchy-feely book about human compassion. Just SOMETHING. Because being a Republican is about as wrong as you can legally get.

10. You have no confidence.

I'm a nice person. I'm really nice, despite all my talk of Republicans (who are non-persons). But honestly, if you have no confidence, I probably won't notice you. And that's not because I'm a bitch -- it's because, you're in some kind of shell that makes you unrelatable and often unnoticeable.

Then there's the other type of no-confidence guy who just sits around complaining how bad their life is, how loser-y they are, and then uses that to try to gain a sympathy date. That's just dishonest. You tell your troubles to your friends, your agonies to your aunts. You don't moan to girls you want to date. It's really not sexy.

So, there you have it, folks. Ten reasons I won't date you. And that's just ten. There's actually a lot more. And again, I'm not a bitch. I just have some really nifty qualities like self-esteem and standards. And those are just two reasons why I'm awesome.




(Oh yeah. And I did all of that "art". Can't you tell by the three-year-old-ish skills and humor?)

The one where I say things to piss you off: My view on Steve Jobs' death

I wanted my first post to be something lighthearted and altogether more exemplary of what the majority of this blog will be like -- but that's not going to happen.

Unless you've been frozen in carbonite , you've probably heard the sad news that Steve Jobs passed away two days ago. And yes, it's very sad news. He was a genius, relatively young, and he died way too soon. My deepest sympathies go out to his loved ones, who no doubt miss him very much. (And I really do mean that.)

But, do you see what I did right there? I reacted normally to the death of a stranger whose work I respected; I reacted normally to the death of a fellow human being. But what's getting me is all the abnormal reactions other people are having. I'll elaborate.

I first heard about the news on Twitter. Like the rest of my generation, I find it much quicker to read a 140 character or less tweet about said event than to watch CNN anchors drone about it six hours before they actually get to the point. And, since I learned about this sad news on Twitter, I had the unique opportunity to instantly see the reactions of everyone who was commenting on Jobs' death. The first couple of condolences were normal, sober, and well-expressed. (i.e "I'm very sad to hear about the passing of Steve Jobs.") But as I continued reading, it became apparent that people who never even knew Steve Jobs were freaking the fuck out. "OMG. I can't believe he's dead!" -- which is, granted, rather normal.

And I get that. Everyone reacts differently to death. And the death of someone you look up to -- even if it's someone you've never met -- is very hard for a lot of people to wrap their heads around. You know, I can understand it. And with that said, I can move along to my point.

There is a line between being upset (including very upset) about the passing of someone iconic in their field and between turning that being upset into a yuppy trend, a bandwagon for others to hop on just so they can feel included in this tragedy. Further more, I saw a lot of celebrities who probably didn't care one wit about Steve Jobs tweeting vehemently about his death. And I mean, I can't say that with a categorical certainty -- that they didn't care -- but I can say that a lot of them seemed to be using it as a platform to get attention. That is Thing Number 1 I saw very wrong that day.

And then there is Thing Number 2, which I found even more disturbing. And it may seem like a small thing to a lot of people, but just humor me, follow along with my thought train for a moment, and THEN see what you think...

When I was reading through my Twitter feed, I saw a tweet done by Alyssa Milano:

This tweet came after a usual sort of sympathy tweet, where she spoke her sentiments from her heart. This tweet however, is merely a well-meaning gesture that's actually rather shallow. And what thought did this tweet provoke in me? I thought to myself: Why is she using her celebrity to get her followers to do a tribute to someone who's already died when she could instead be using it to raise awareness for the disease that killed him? 

I have lupus. Right now, I'm doing rather well and I'm grateful for that. But I've nearly died from it before. And if I ever did die from it and I was looking down from above, I would want a celebrity to use their power and influence to help save others from my fate via raising awareness, charity work, etc. My spiritual, spectral self would probably appreciate sincere comments, but empty gestures? Just no.

And I want to make it clear I don't think Alyssa Milano was doing this as a purposeful thing to gain attention for herself. I mean, she could've been -- I'm not her and don't know what she's thinking -- but whatever the motive, I wish she knew that a better, more meaningful tribute to Steve Jobs would've been something to raise awareness. After all, one of the greatest things Jobs is known for was his innovative spirit. He saw the world going forward. He saw new ways to look at the world, to make daily life easier, to make entertainment more entertaining. And since he had that way about him, I think a greater tribute than an empty gesture would be to carry on his message, you know? For instance, helping solve what caused him to die -- even in a tiny way -- is an innovation. And aside of the tribute aspect, I think, even in death, he'd want the rest of us to use every opportunity to just keep moving forward.